I want to blog again . . . pray for me!

Its only been . . . 4 months . . . since my last post. Much has happened, sigh. All of summer, actually. Friends came in town, we went out of town several times, lots of fun memories . . . all un-blogged. Oh well. I want to start blogging again, and maybe I will get around to retro-blogging at some point. But, the best way to get back in the saddle, I think, is just to start where things are at right now. And right now, it is fall, we are back in the swing of David's law school life and Sarah is getting crazy big. So I'll just post some pictures of our normal life, and we will see where blogging goes from here!

This photo happened right at the beginning of September. After a pretty scorching Missouri summer, we finally got some "cool" weather, like in the 80's. I told Sarah that Fall was coming and the weather was going to start getting cooler. She is just beginning to grasp the idea of seasons. We were out on the deck, but suddenly she yelled excited, "Its going to snow soon!" Then she ran back inside, and re-emerged on the deck in this get-up. I love it--sooo Sarah!

Sarah has also discovered that she really likes the jacuzzi function of our bathtub, especially in combination with bubble bath. Its actually pretty amazing. A tiny little capful of bubble bath that makes a really pathetic amount of bubbles when simply poured under the bathtub faucet turns into a whole bathtub of thick foamy bubbles when you turn the jacuzzi jets on. Lots of bath time fun happening this way these days!

Sarah also still loves books, thankfully. At 18 months she would only fall asleep in her crib if we put 2-3 books in there with her for her to look at as she drifted off. She still loves to just sit and look at a book. I have aspirations to start some simple reading stuff with her this year--she is definitely interested! But the main reason I took this picture is she just looks so darn grown up!! I want it to stop, I tell you! And yet, I am so proud. I am just crazy about this girl, I tell ya!

Finally, this is from Sarah's first day of "school" a few weeks ago. Actually, she is just going to a parents' day out one day a week. But she LOVES it! She is just so active and curious and social, and since she is not napping anymore (for like 8 months now!) I finally broke down and said--I need a few hours each week to do things that are difficult to get done when you are your non-napping super-social child's only social and entertainment outlet. Praise the Lord, he provided some super sweet ladies at a church not too far from where we live who intentionally keep the PDO prices low so that it is affordable for families like ours. Seriously, such a provision! Sarah really likes it, and I think she is really growing and benefiting from the social and structure aspects, and I have aspirations to actually organize my house and possibly do a little more blogging . . . So thankful!!

Transit Part 2

Sorry to leave you all so long waiting for the rest of the story! To say its been a busy week would be an understatement . . . a huge understatement. We have been going non-stop since we got to the U.S., and especially since we got her to St. Louis. But, I digress. ;) Where did I leave off? Oh, yes, we were in Connecticut for a few precious hours with David's folks, enjoying Dunkin Donuts. :)

We spent the morning with David's parents, and around noon they drove us an hour down to New Haven to catch a train to New York. We were only in New Haven for an hour or so, but it reminded me why New England has become such a treasured place to me these past few years since I married David and joined his New England family. The summer weather was perfect--sunny, but not too bright, 70 degrees, slight ocean breeze coming off the water. Even a few minutes of this was healing for my jet-lagged, travel-ravaged, transition-ravaged soul. And the train station was beautiful. It makes me think--airports, what is wrong with you? Don't you realize how much more pleasant traveling could be if you had just a touch more charm? The station was small, but filled with carved marble and 100-yr old murals and solid wood benches where we sat and ate lunch. I decided train stations, especially New England train stations, are my new favorite thing. :)

We hopped on a train bound for NYC, and got there in a speedy hour and a half. Sarah loved the train--loved that she could stand up, no seat belt needed, even walk around a little. She loved looking out the window and seeing houses and trees and roads and bridges and rivers. It was a gorgeous day and, really, we all enjoyed the train ride. Just as we were arriving at Grand Central Station, a friendly woman on the train approached us and, seeing our luggage, asked, "Are you all going to Kennedy airport?" We said yes. She said, "I am planning on taking [such and such] subway train and transferring to [something] at [someplace]--do you know a better way?" We said no, and in fact her route had one less transfer than we had planned on, so we opted for her route. She was very friendly, was a former New Yorker so she knew exactly where to go at every subway station and where the elevators were (helpful since we had Sarah's stroller and 2 bags with us). After the first train, another very friendly New Yorker approached the four of us and, again seeing our bags, offered to walk us through the transfer at the next station since he knew exactly where to go. He did exactly that, and then left us with a wave, and we did the whole thing super quick. Unbelievably, on the last train another woman approached us and offered to guide us through the very last step to the airport!!! When you are jet-lagged and trying to make your way through an unfamiliar system of underground trains in a timely manner, there is no greater blessing than the Lord sending not just one but THREE helpful strangers to make sure you get where you are going! It was really, really amazing and really kind of felt like a "welcome home to America" from the Lord!!

We made the whole trip--New Haven to NYC subways to airport train to airport--in less than 3 hours, and got to the airport with time to spare before our 6 p.m. flight. We went to the arrival floor of the terminal where we had stored all the luggage we didn't take with us to Connecticut (for $62!! Basically, we bought our bags a hotel room for the night, how generous of us) and David easily found 2 abandoned Smart Carts just waiting around. This made him very, very happy because he (rightly) finds the $5 per cart rental price to be very disagreeable. We got our bags, and other than one of our bags (the one with our movie projector in it!!!) falling off my cart as I was trying to navigate it into the inter-airport-terminal train, we got all checked in and through security very smoothly. I had a gross and grossly over-priced egg-salad sandwich, and David and Sarah ate McDonald's for dinner for the SECOND time since we'd arrived in the USA 24 hours before. Yes, David did make a vow never to eat McDonald's again once we got back to the States. But then he discovered their Angus burger and, well, I think he might still eat McDonald's on occasion, even in this country.

We boarded our plane, which was scheduled to fly through Charlotte, NC, and arrive in Dallas 6.5 hours later. We thought that seemed like waaaay more time than needed to go from NYC to Dallas, even with a stopover. Then we found out the stopover in Charlotte was actually 2 hours and we were required to get off the plane so they could clean it. This wouldn't be so bad, since Sarah would especially enjoy getting to run around a bit in the middle of the trip. But the stopover was even MORE redeemed when we walked off the plane in Charlotte and what to our wondering eyes did appear but . . .

BOJANGLES!!!

Only David's favorite food on the planet!! And I like it pretty well too! We all had a delicious kind-of 2nd dinner, browsed some magazines, got back on the plane and arrived in Dallas, exhausted but overall feeling amazingly blessed at how the Lord had not only provided what we needed but actually given us kind of a FUN day of traveling! How often does that happen? Anyway, more Deans in the USA adventures coming soon!

In Transit and In His Grace

We are back in the U.S.A., and actually we are here in St. Louis, our future home. I will write a post about our first impressions of this city probably later this week--when hopefully I have had a little time to process them--but this post is about the kind of insane last four? five? days of our lives as we traveled from our old home in Asia to this upcoming one. Just FYI, this post is not necessarily about how we are feeling about the transition or dealing with it, because really the last few days haven't left a lot of time for feeling or thinking or dealing, just rolling with the punches. :) Still, we have seen God give us some really cool blessings, and had some really crazy and hilarious stuff happen. So, I'm just going to do this list style:

• Blessing: Sarah did really, really well on all the flights! She had a few whiny and difficult moments, but in general, this time was SO much easier than a year ago! She loved the first flight and spent half of it looking out the window and commenting on all she saw. She apparently (unlike her mama) thinks flying is a blast. As we were getting off the 16-hour flight from Shanghai to New York, she said, "Mommy, can we go airplane again?" David and I did not share her enthusiasm.
• Hilarious: There was a man on our long flight, a few rows ahead of us, who had sinus issues like I have never heard before. And this is coming from someone with serious sinus issues! He started snoring before while we were still on the ground in Shanghai, and I think he could be heard throughout the entire economy section! He snored for probably 70% of the flight, louder than I could have imagined it was possible to snore. It was unbelievable.
• Crazy: Everything went smooth till we got to New York, and then everything started to go wrong. first of all, we arrived almost 2 hours late--our 4.5 hour layover nearly cut in half. Then it took nearly two hours for them to get our baggage off the plane and onto the carousel! Meanwhile, there was a huge thunderstorm that came up (probably caused the delay with the bags) which, somehow, caused a sudden geyser of water, no lie, to burst up from under the floor of the baggage claim area a few feet from where we were waiting for our bags. Seriously, the water was spraying up from this grate in the floor, 5-6 feet in the air, and quickly flooded a huge portion of the waiting area. This sort of thing is very surreal and very amusing when you are jetlagged!
• More Crazy: So, when we finally get our bags and go through customs, we have only 30 minutes to catch our flight from New York to Dallas. We are hopeful because we heard the thunderstorm caused a bunch of delays, but we are still hustling through. Just the day before we left, I called U.S. Airways to confirm that our baggage allowance would be the same for our domestic flights as the international, and the lady also told me that it would be super easy to quickly re-check our bags right outside the international customs area at JFK at a U.S. Airways kiosk. As we exit, I see Delta and several other airlines' little kiosk, but no U.S. Airways. David is pushing one cart loaded sky high with luggage with one hand, and Sarah's stroller with the other hand. I am leaning all my body weight into controlling my piled-high luggage cart, and an airport employee informs me that U.S. Airways does not, in fact, have a kiosk here so we must transport our luggage ourselves, in less than 30 minutes, from Terminal 1 (where we were) to Terminal 7 (U.S. Airways domestic). To make the long and annoying story of this luggage journey short, we got it done, exhaustedly and not always with a good attitude, only to discover our domestic flight had not been delayed, but CANCELLED, and we could only be re-booked on the same 6:15 p.m. flight the next day . . . Oh, and then we found out that there were no hotel rooms to be had for less than $300 a night in the airport vicinity . . .
  
• Blessing: So, we called David's parents who were a 3-hour drive away in Connecticut and begged them to come pick us up. We felt horrible to inconvenience David's dad with a sudden, late-night 6 hour drive, but they were so incredibly gracious to come rescue us, and excited to see us, and we were thrilled to see them! In the end, we were so blessed to spend a few hours with them (originally, we weren't planning to get to see them till August sometime), and get to sleep and shower in their comfortable, familiar, wonderful Connecticut home! We had real New England Dunkin Donuts for breakfast in the morning, and just such a precious and unexpected blessing to get to see them for a few hours!

Anyway, that was day one-ish (I guess the total time represented by this post was more like 48 hours, but you know what I mean), there were more adventures and blessings headed our way the next day! Stay posted . . .

Update

So somehow four weeks (when I wrote the last post) has suddenly become three days!!! In just three days, David, Sarah and I will board a plane at 7:30 a.m. and say goodbye to this city we've called home for seven years . . .

So how are we feeling at this point? You know, I really never imagined I would feel as peaceful as I do at this point. The last four weeks, and really this whole Spring, the Lord has allowed us so many opportunities to savor our life and friendships here. David and I just keep talking about how grateful we feel these days--we've had an incredibly blessed life here, but we've also had time this Spring to appreciate it and begin to let it go, rather than hold tightly to it. I don't know if that makes sense, but I am so thankful for the place of gratefulness and joy and even peace that we are experiencing as we prepare to leave. I know that this has not been the experience of all or even most of our friends, especially the ones who've had to make a sudden permanent move back to the U.S. So we know the Lord did not owe us a smooth and satisfying closure to our time here, but we are so grateful that he has chosen to bless us with one.

The last two weeks were occupied mostly with packing about 5% of our stuff to take back with us, and figuring out how to sell or give away the remaining 95%. There was a point last week where I was definitely bitter and discouraged. I didn't want to have to get rid of almost everything we own and start all over, and my disorganized, procrastinating self most certainly did not want to have to do the actual work of going through everything and sorting it all out. I prayed a lot, and in the end the Lord gave me the emotional and physical energy to get it done. The final result was one part sad--the empty apartment that used to be our home for 5 years--but also significantly freeing. I told several friends that going through all our stuff really made me want to aim to live a simpler life material-goods-wise when we move back to the U.S. My good friend Kayla said, "That is a great goal, and totally attainable! That is until you set foot in Target . . . " Oh, how well you know me, friend! Still, I think there is something spiritually beneficial to owning less . . . at least for a little while. :)

Anyway, so that is the update. There is so much more I could write--really the last few weeks have been filled with more blessings than I can count--but I may have to save those stories for later. We'd love your prayers for our flights on Friday--flying 30 plus hours with a two year old is never easy--and please keep praying for our transition too. There is an element that, since we haven't actually LEFT yet, its somehow easier to be at peace with the idea of leaving . . . So, yeah, we'd love your prayers! God is good, though, and we are so thankful for what has been and what is to come . . .

More coming soon from our new home country, the good ol' USA!

Four Weeks

Four weeks from tomorrow we will board an airplane and say a final goodbye to this country which has been our home for seven years. It is still incomprehensible to me a lot of the time, but there are more and more moments where the reality is sinking in. Those moments are intense, full of emotion--grief, loss, helplessness, and gratefulness all mixed together.

I had one of those moments, really it was more like two solid days, last weekend. On friday, I hosted a lunch/shower for my good friend Kayla who will be bringing home her long-awaited adopted daughter Jubilee this summer. It was so fun to plan and host and celebrate with this friend! Then, suddenly, I realized--this is probably the last shower I will host for anyone for a long time! Hosting a shower is something you do for a close friend, someone who genuinely knows you and who you also genuinely know. And those kind of relationships, well, I am leaving those behind. I have no doubt my friendship with Kayla and my other dear, dear friends here will continue even when we don't live on the same side of the planet, but those relationships will change and evolve--they'll have to. And in St. Louis, it will probably be quite a while before I know anyone well enough or anyone knows me well enough that I will host a shower for them. And that is hard, and sad, and reality--and only worth it, really, because 1) we know 100% that this move is God's will for us and that he goes ahead of us, preparing our new life there, and will sustain us with his grace through the grieving of our old life and the rebuilding of a new one; and because 2) we know that the community we've had here, great as it is (and it really is so so so great) is still imperfect, but we will experience it restored (!), perfected (!), deepened (!) in the ultimate life that comes after this one.

Its so neat when something your spouse says ministers to your soul. Saturday night we had our group of local friends over, as usual, and David was teaching on what it means to really live in the tension of living "in" this world but not "of" it. We talked about the importance of holding on to our gifts from the Father loosely, and David shared about our current challenge of leaving this place, by which I really mean leaving behind the community we have here. He said,

"The reason these goodbyes are so painful is because we really aren't meant to have to say goodbye to one another. We were created to enjoy this fellowship together for eternity. So it feels wrong, unjust, unnatural in every way to have to say goodbye to you all. But we don't live our lives here and now for for everything to be perfect here and now. Doing that is futile--we'll only experience disappointment. We don't build heavenly lives for ourselves now because this isn't heaven; so we know that the blessing of this community has been a taste of what is to come, and we let it increase our desire for what that time will be like."

I know that I am only beginning the journey of grieving the community we are losing here, but I write this in large part for myself--to re-read and remind myself to trust in God's timing and see the big picture when the current moments are lonely and difficult. Right now, I am trying to have a grateful heart, and do the best I can to love my friends here well for the next four weeks. I'd love your prayers!

Happy Mother's Day!!

This post is especially for my dear mom and mother-in-law. I am so blessed to have two such wonderful, caring women in my life! I know that there is nothing either of you would enjoy more on Mother's Day than to get to spend time with your granddaughter; since distance still makes that impossible, I hope your day will be brightened by these photos of her!
Mom, its cliche to say, but its true that I appreciate you more and more each day that I myself am a mom. I can tangibly understand now the sacrifices you daily made to show me love. You are a model and inspiration to my mothering. Even now, as an adult, I am surprised how much I depend on you! You email me about five times as often as I email you; you are constantly doing me favors and mailing us packages and managing logistical details in the States for us. No one could ever call the relationship you and I have reciprocal! But you serve me and still make daily sacrifices for me, and you do it all so joyfully! Thank you for modeling such sacrificial love.
Barb, I have been so blessed to get to know you these past six years since I became your daughter. You welcomed me into the family as a true daughter, not simply the girl your son was marrying. I have learned so much from seeing the way you serve your household tirelessly, the way you carefully steward your family's resources, the way you bring laughter and joy to every family get-together. Thank you for being such a wonderful grandmother to Sarah, and for being truly a wonderful friend and mother-in-law to me! I never dreamed that one of the benefits of getting married would be to inherit the blessing of a mother-in-law like you have been to me.
Both of you are dearer to me than words can describe! And, I am so thankful Sarah will grow up with the blessing of two such wonderful grandmothers!




I love you both! Happy Mother's Day!

Things I'll Miss #2: Sense of Adventure

One of the things I have loved most about the seven years I have spent here in Asia has been the element of adventure that is a part of this life. On the one hand, there is the sense that life here is less predictable (which can be both fun and not so fun), but even more so I feel like the adventure comes from the constant possibility for discovery. If you know me, you know what a geek I am--I love learning and analyzing things and trying to figure stuff out. Living in a different culture and learning a new language--its just been really fun for me. OK, so not always fun in all circumstances, but generally speaking I have really, really enjoyed learning about this place where we've lived. I've enjoyed meeting fascinating people with amazing stories, discovering great food or a new restaurant. I like the funny, crazy things that seemingly happen every day here. I've enjoyed traveling around--the lonely-planet-ness of this life. In truth, the last few years, especially since Sarah arrived, have been much more settled and much less lonely-planet-esque, but still. It's hard to put into words exactly--all I can say is I really, really like the life I have here.

But, I have to remember, that true adventure doesn't come from living someplace exotic, but from following Christ. He is the one who is constantly asking us to risk it all, lay it all on the line, and trust him. No playing it safe in this life. And the adventure he is calling David and I to requires that we once again leave behind what is familiar and comfortable (Asia--ironically!) to go to someplace totally new and unfamiliar (St. Louis). And there will be myriads of new discoveries, and a ton to learn (or re-learn) about life there. So I am just laying down one kind of adventure for another one--the better one, because its the one He created for me, not the one I've chosen for myself. Praise him!