Things I Won't Miss #1: Transportation Woes

Transportation has never been particularly convenient here. This problem is true of the country where we live in Asia in general, but it is really, really true in our city. A couple of years ago, our city got voted as having the worst traffic of all major cities in this country of 1.3 billion people. Not kidding. The situation has gotten slightly better as they finished construction last year on several major new freeways and intersection, but it is still just kind of a headache. The buses are few, always crowded, there are only 3 lines that stop at the stop closest to our complex, and they take forever to go only a handful of the places we typically need to go to. Recently we took a bus downtown because it was raining. We could have walked to this area in about 45 minutes, but it took us over an hour on the bus. No lie!
I read an article recently that the city has not given any new taxi permits since 2003. So while the population as well as the prosperity of the city has increased, meaning the number of people who take taxis nowadays is probably 4 times what it was in 2003, the number of taxis on the road is the same. It is literally nearly impossible to get a taxi on weekdays between the hours of 4:45 and 7 p.m., and it is very difficult almost any time on the weekend. We don't take taxis that often--I take them when I buy groceries, we take one when we have a date night to a restaurant that is not nearby, and we take them to and from the international fellowship on Sunday mornings. We've regularly wait 30, 45 minutes or an hour to catch a taxi. And if we are taking a taxi, it means we need to get somewhere that is far away and we probably need to be there at a certain time. Not fun.
They are currently beginning the construction on a subway for our city--hallelujah! This is a relatively compact city of 6 million (ish) people with way, way, way too narrow roads and far too many cars. A subway is going to be fantastic . . . when it is done in 2016 or so!
The other thing that just makes transportation a headache here is Sarah. Riding in a taxi with her is just no fun. First of all, the crazy driving and traffic and her not being strapped in to a car seat or even with a seatbelt is simply nervewracking. Secondly, she whines and cries and can't decide if she wants to sit on my lap or David's or, what she really wants, is to stand on the seat and lean out the window or climb on the bars separating the backseat from the driver . . . I am not going to miss that one bit!

Things About America I'm Excited About #1: Family-Friendliness

One thing that makes me happy when I think about our new life in the U.S. is the family-friendliness of American culture. That is of course in no-way to say that the Asian culture is anti-family, in general (I do think it has its anti-family aspects, though those are balanced in many ways by being more pro-family in other aspects than we Americans are). What I mean is that, when it comes to daily life conveniences, it is simply easier to be a parent in the U.S. than it is to be one here. I'm talking about places you can take kids and things you can bring your kids along to do. One small example: the existence of restaurant highchairs.

Generally speaking, restaurants here do not have high chairs. That is because, generally speaking, people don't take their children out to eat. The average Asian household, where we live, consists of two parents, one or two grandparents, and one child. So the parents will go out to eat, often with friends or co-workers, but the child will stay home with the grandparents. Thus, no restaurant highchairs. There are a few American chain restaurants in our city that do have them (McDonalds, KFC, Papa John's, etc.) and one chain of local restaurants that, randomly, has them. Other than that, we just pull Sarah's stroller up to the table and have her eat that way (which she doesn't like), or we try to remember to bring along a little blue booster seat that straps onto the chair for her to use.

This is just one example. I must say, though, that I think Asia is growing in terms of stuff to do and places to go with kids. These little store-front Discovery Zone type places are popping up all over the place, though they are a little on the expensive side. Playgrounds are becoming slightly more common, though parks in general (in my opinion) still aren't super kid-friendly. The newer parks are better.

But America in general, and St. Louis in particular (from what we hear), has a comparable abundance of public playgrounds and parks and libraries and festivals and children's museums and zoos . . . And I am really looking forward to all those things and restaurant high chairs and booster seats too!

Things I'll Miss #1: Our Apartment

Just FYI, I am not putting the posts in this series in order of how much I'll miss each person or thing--I just sat down and made a list of things I want to write about in each category, and I'll just write about whichever one I choose each day. Obviously, in each category, what I will miss most here in Asia or what I am most excited about in America, is the people. And I will get around to writing about that. But, for today, I will post about our apartment here in Asia.
This has been our home for five years. FIVE years. That is the longest I have lived in any place other than the two houses our family lived in when I was growing up. Since David moved a lot more than I did growing up, I think there is only one house he has lived in longer than this.
Even though we don't own this apartment, it really feels like home. When we come home from vacation or from furlough, we sigh when we walk in the door. All the furniture and appliances in the apartment is ours; we chose all the paint colors and decor. I really can't wrap my head around some other apartment or house being our "home" in just a few months.
Like anything, though, there are definitely aspects of the apartment that I don't love to pieces, and which merit future blog posts of their own in the "stuff I won't miss" category: like the way this bathroom smells in the morning, the pipes that keeping breaking inside the walls, various aspects of the kitchen, etc.

But there are also a lot of things I really, really like. And just that wonderful, comfortable, familiar feeling of HOME-ness. This place, this apartment on the other side of the world, has it. And it will take a long time till our new place, wherever that may be, will have it. It will come, I'm sure, and maybe I will end up liking our new home even more than this one. But, this place will still always be very special and dear to my heart.

Sarah's room for the last two years . . .

The kitchen: the room in the apartment I have the most mixed feelings about.
Our plan in moving was originally to bring almost nothing home that wasn't essential and just sell everything--furniture, decor, kitchen stuff, appliances. My good friend Erin-Ashley, whose family just moved back to the U.S. last summer, gave me the very good advice to bring home some "unnecessary" things that simply remind us that wherever we are is home. So we will still sell all our furniture and appliances and everything big, but I am planning on bringing home more little, home-y stuff than I'd originally intended--picture frames, decorative stuff, etc., to bring some continuity from this life we've had here in this home to our next one. Still, the process of selling and packing and moving out, then buying and unpacking and moving in, is not one I am really looking forward to. But its a great chance to see the Lord sustain us, provide for us, and teach us to long for our TRUE home, the one we will never move out of . . . Praise him!

New Series and Inspiration

So, I am not sure why, but the last month or so I just haven't really been inspired to blog. Which is wierd, because its not like there is nothing going on here. We've had birthdays and fun parties with friends, my sister Becky and her husband Josh have come and visited and left us with about a million fantastic pictures, and I have about a billion thoughts and feelings swirling around in my head about the transition we are coming up on in less than two months . . . And every time I thought about blogging I just didn't know where to begin with all that. But today I saw the blog of a friend of a friend who would be moving soon, and she was doing a series on 40 things she would miss about Raleigh--one for each day left before she moves. Now, if any of you know me you know that I am not what you call "goal-oriented." So trying to do one post per day for the rest of our time here . . . well, there is no better way to pretty much kill my blogging forever. So, instead, I'll just take this inspiration, make a rough and flexible plan, and see where it takes us. :)

So, I am starting a series with 3 types of blog posts: things I am going to miss about life in Asia, things I am NOT going to miss about life in Asia, and things that make me excited to start a new life in the U.S. Hopefully, this general structure will help me to process this move as well as provide all of you with some insight into everything going on in my life right now. :) I apologize in advance if my blog becomes a little self-indulgent (though what is blogging, exactly, if not self-indulgent??), so I will try to throw in some Sarah pics here and there to keep the grandmothers and grandfathers and aunts and uncles and great-aunts and great-uncles (i.e. basically my entire readership ;) ) interested! I love all of you, and I am so glad I have this blog as way to communicate regularly with you.

Re-Post: Big Things First

Note: I originally posted this a week or so ago, but David asked me to take it down since he was still in negotiations with Washington University in St Louis about his scholarship and didn't want them to somehow accidentally find this and realized we were pretty much going there no matter what. He heard the final word on his scholarship a few days ago (not as much as we'd hoped, but still very, very generous), so I can re-post this now!

The last couple of months haven't been more busy than usual, in terms of actual events or commitments going on, so I don't really have that excuse for why my blogging has tapered off. And actually I have a bunch of photos I want to post from David's birthday, some fun times with friends, silly stuff Sarah has been doing. What's been holding up my blogging is that there is this big, big, BIG change coming in our lives, and I have just gotten overwhelmed thinking about blogging about it.

This probably isn't even news to many of you, as we have been talking about making this change for two years (just not on the blog) and we made the official announcement in our update letter last month, but the big news is this:

Our family is moving back to the U.S. in less than three months for David to start law school in the fall.

Like I said, BIG CHANGE!!! So, my life hasn't been too too busy lately, but its about to get insane. But our hearts and minds have been busy. We literally just made our official decision as to where David will be going to school next year less than a week ago--Washington University in St. Louis!! He has recieved a very, very generous scholarship there, which we hope will allow him to get his law degree with very little or even no traditional student loan debt! This is just one of many, many ways we see the Lord providing for us as we make this transition--his hand is very clearly in it, and we are so thankful for the confirmation that this is indeed the right next step in our lives.

A quick aside--its a rainy cold day outside, so Sarah is staying inside and watching the movie "Cars" as I write this. We just watched the scene at the beginning where the big semi truck (please forgive me for forgetting his name) and Lightning McQueen drive from Charlotte across the country toward California to the song "Life is a Highway," and I had to stop writing this in order to burst into tears for a few minutes. We have so many, many emotions right now--we are thrilled, bursting with excitement to start this new chapter and learn a new place (neither of us have even ever been to St. Louis!) and be closer to family and friends in the U.S.; and we are sad and grieving and mourning the end of this chapter of our lives which we have loved and which its not possible to over-state the significance in our lives. So, yeah, I have periods of numbness and periods where I burst into tears at kids movies for no reason because I love America so much and I am really, really excited to live there again but at the same time I love, love Asia with a love so deep I never could have imagined it, and I can't believe I am really going to have to say goodbye to this place so soon.

Sigh. I am glad to be finally writing this and sharing with you all. :)

As for the history of this big decision and our hopes for the future, I wrote it out in much more detail in our last update letter--and if you didn't get it, just drop me an email at mariannebdean@yahoo.com, and I will send it to you by email. But here is the quick version:

When we moved back here to Asia in 2006, we were committing to living here for 3-5 years. We knew that at the end of that time, it would more or less be a decision to commit to David's spending his whole "career" here--you know, the 20-30 year thing, living here till we retire or longer, etc., or returning back to the U.S. to do something else. When we first came back, we weren't open really to the long, long-term thing, but by 2008, HE began working in our hearts and we started to be open to that. I am so thankful, because just a few months later we began to sense HIM actually leading us to take steps forward in the law school direction, by David taking the LSAT, etc., and in the fall of 2009, we decided law school would be the next step and we would move home to do it in 2011.

We are so thankful, because we are not leaving because of burn-out or other major problems, and the work we have been doing here is in a good place to transition over to others leading it. We feel certain that this is the step our Father intends for us, and our hope is that this degree, in the long term, will enable David and our family to continue to serve and minister and pursue the same goals we have built our lives around these 7 years in Asia. In fact, we hope that eventually we may even be once again living overseas with David using his profession as an attorney to spread the Good News in both word and through the tangible advancement of HIS justice in the world. So, we are full of hope--for the next few years in St. Louis, for the future HE has for us beyond that . . . but leaving behind our community of both foreign and local brothers and sisters here will be only softened by the knowledge that we will be reunited when we all return to our TRUE HOME in heaven.

Please, feel free to contact me with any questions you have about this, or any encouragement or advice! So thankful for all of you, on BOTH sides of the world, and your prayers, love, support and friendship as we experience the closing of one chapter and the beginning of another!